Saturday, 13 September 2014

Making Crypt of Rabies metal with Rafael Chandler

"The photo of me is from some event at a library
 where I spoke to a bunch of kids
 about a career in the video game industry.
 After that, we played Rock Band.
 Sharing information and mentoring young people is
 pretty fucking metal."
I thought my blog needs more TRVE METAL in it. Only person who could make my blog more metal is +Rafael Chandler . Why? Because he is one of the most metal dudes in RPG circles around the world. Don’t believe me? Better follow him at Google Plus and get awesome metal things in your feed.


Here are my questions for Rafael about what roleplaying things are METAL or how to make roleplaying more METAL.


Rafael, I want to start with basics. What is the most METAL die (not death kill murder die but a singular of dice)?

The d12, no doubt about it. Each face of the die is shaped like a pentagram.

Drizzt D’urden should be METAL being dark elf and stuff but instead he is a whiny mary sue. How to make elves TRVE KVLT METAL?


Whining is not metal. On the other hand, striking out on your own in defiance of society (which Drizzt does) is definitely metal; however, the society that's he's rebelling against is evil, it's undergound and it's focused on death. In other words, he's turning his back on an extremely metal culture, and instead chooses to spend time with a cat. Cats are not metal, regardless of how large they are. Wolves are metal, as are demons. Lolth is also kind of metal. Drow are more or less metal. Catti-Brie and Eminster are not metal. Drizzt is kind of like a scene kid. Bruenor Battlehammer is probably into classic rock: Creedence, Hendrix, the Stones, Clapton. Stuff like that. I think he's okay. I'd probably drink a beer with Bruenor.


You have a strange pervert fixation. Explain me how and why tentacles with or without mouths instead of normal legs are METAL.

I'm really into Mon*Star from Silverhawks. That dude has a bangin' body.


From the traditional seven classes (as races) which is the most METAL of them all?

Cleric, but only if you cast reversed spells (Darkness, Cause Light Wounds, Curse, et cetera).


When your character reaches the point he is dead how to make his death METAL?

In SlaughterGrid, there's a random resurrection table. You come back from the dead with deformities and new appendages and strange urges. The pain doesn't end with death. It keeps going. That's pretty brutal, I think.

New appendages, there you go again with your perversion! Do these new appendages in any chance have mouths?

Some do! It's a d100 table full of nastiness. What can I say? If I were a musician, I'd only know one chord, but I'd play it all damn day.

If I want my character to be METAL what would be his theme song? It doesn’t matter what the character is like because METAL is universal.

"Sun and Steel" by Iron Maiden. Classic D&D metal.

Which is more METAL? Loincloth or chainmail bikini?

Because of Manowar, I must say loincloth.

How can I become METAL as roleplaying games enthusiast, blogger and publisher?

I should probably insert a joke about inverted crosses or whatever, but really, I think it just comes down to not giving a damn what society says. There aren't a whole lot of metal songs that praise conformity, obedience, or cowardice. Instead, you find a lot of metal songs about independence and solitude.

How to make lawful good character METAL?

Tough question. I don't know if it can be done! I don't use alignments in my games. It's kind of a drag.

No Salvation For Witches for Lamentations Of The Flame Princess and Teratic Tome are something you have made. But for my blog give a most METAL monster ever only exclusively published here at Crypt of Rabies blog.

The Certitude is invisible, inaudible, and odorless. It cannot be detected by magic, nor can it be dispelled or slain. The Certitude spreads from person to person through the use of words, spoken in tones of utter conviction. Residing in the victim's brain, the Certitude allows the victim to justify any action, no matter how horrific, because the victim is convinced that the world will be made a better place. The Certitude is responsible for countless atrocities.

I thought I am not worthy enough to introduce Rafael in the end of this post so I’ll let the most METAL guy in roleplaying biz do it himself. So Rafael, tell us how METAL you are!

Most days, I don't feel terribly metal. I sit at a desk and I type all day. I drive a minivan. I eat cereal for breakfast. I don't feel particularly interesting or special. But in my mind, there are vast plains of scorched flesh; endless chains of wailing victims coiled outside towering abbatoirs; and a vast, all-encompassing ostinato that pulses up from the ground with the fury of thousand blastbeats. There, I have peace.

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